


Hellfire & Temptation

by Raynebow_of_the_Rising_Sun



Category: Reylo - Fandom, Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Christmas Presents, F/M, Reylo Kisses
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-16
Updated: 2018-12-21
Packaged: 2019-09-20 04:41:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17015925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Raynebow_of_the_Rising_Sun/pseuds/Raynebow_of_the_Rising_Sun
Summary: Ben Solo is about to become a preist.Rey has other plans for him.Please forgive the errors you spot this is literally the absolutely raw, unedited, just-jotted-it-down first draft. I'll clean it up later.Starting editing phase now that the plot/story is mapped out, may not be done with that before Christmas, as I actually need to do some research/rewrites regarding the Catholic church/preist stuff... and I'm still deciding whether or not to do a smutfest epilogue chapter to post along with the polished story after it's been editted.





	1. Chapter 1

Rey glanced around surreptitiously as she sneaked through an unmarked door at the end of a narrow alley in the seedy part of town. She felt silly for needing to reassure herself that nobody was watching her entering the nondescript shop.

the heavy outter door banged closed behind her, making her nearly jump out of her skin right as she reached for the handle of the blacked out glass door a few feet further inside. The inner door didn't budge.

A bored voice through a tinny speaker demanded, "Hold your ID up to the camera."

Srartled she glanced around and up, noticing a small security camera in the corner above the locked door. With shaking fingers she dug through her bag for her ID and held it up to the lense.

A sharp buzzing sound accompanied by a loud clicking noise alerted her that the door was ready to be opened. Gulping a deep breath she tugged the door open and froze in open mouthed shock as she was greeted by a four foot long, 8 inch wide fleshtoned replica of a ginormous veiny penis flanked by two anatomically correct, very realistic looking, naked sex dolls, one of each sex.

"Oh, god." she breathed, nearly turning around and running for her life.

She made it halfway around before she stopped herself from fleeing, steeled her spine and squared her shoulders. She was not going to run away. Time was too short and her goal too important. If she didn't find the courage she needed, she'd lose more than her dignity in just two day's time.

Tearing her eyes away from the shocking display she looked around, spying a heavy lidded man behind a counter cluttered with sex themed candies and trinkets. Gritting her teeth she approached. Each step brought the stranger into easier viewing range and she was nearly ready to run again when she finally got a good look at the incredibly handsome man behind the counter. He was a couple inches taller than her own five foot seven, olive skin, full lips, chiseled features, gorgeous liquid eyes that screamed sensuality at an almost deafening decible.

He glanced up from his computer screen and a slow smile spread across his dazzling features. "Well aren't you a treat." he said with a lazy drawl that she couldn't place. "Are you looking for a Christmas gift for yourself of a friend?"

Heat suffused her face and her voice squeaked on her single word reply. "Both."

"I see… Boyfriend or girlfriend?" He asked, his eyes roaming over her speculatively.

"Uhm… neither?" she said hesitantly then added in a rush, "But I'd like him to be." She knew she was blushing and added unnecessarily, "My boyfriend."

The gorgeous man behind the counter frowned slightly. "Have you tried asking him out?"

She blushed more furiously and shook her head. "It wont do any good, he'd say no." she said then in her nervous state of anxiety added, "he's taking his vows on Christmas day."

"You want to seduce the groom before his wedding?" A sly grin spread across the stranger's face.

"Not exactly…" She denied.

"Ah, well, it's your business… It'd just be easier for me to help you find exactly what you need if I knew what you needed it for. I'm Poe, by the way. This is my shop." He extended a hand towards her and winked as she took it. "I specialize in providing superior customer service."

"Oh." she jerked her hand back and he laughed.

"Not that kind of service." he chuckled more as he rounded the counter. "You're what? A four?"

She looked insulted then noticed he was looking at her belly. "Yeah, how'dvyou know?"

"That's my job." he winked again. "Come with me, I think I have just the thing… unless your groom is gay or joining the preisthood, he wont be able to resist you in it."

Rey froze in mid step.

Poe's brows shot up. "He's gay?"

"No…" Rey said, blushing harder than she ever had in her life. "At least, I don't think he is... he doesn't seem interested in… earthly pleasures."

He busted out laughing racously. "You want to seduce a man away from the catholic church? That's... the greatest thing I've ever heard!" he said through gales of laughter.

As he held open a door at the back of the shop, behing rows upon rows of dvds and bluray discs, he cautioned, "I'm going to need as much information as you can give me about him, if you want just the right thing to turn him off the path he's on."

"Well, he's…" How to describe him? hmm… "He's very big, about six-three, built like a mountain…"

Poe cut her off. "Sounds sexy, but I mean… what's he like? Prissy? Prudish? Chiorboy?"

"Oh!" She nearly tripped over her feet as she stepped through the door and beheld racks and racks of clothing, dozens of mannequins modeling some very risqué outfits, and walls lined in accessories such as hand cuffs, whips, paddles, and ballgags.

"So? What's he like?" Poe prompted as Rey stared at the spectacle around her.

"Shy, quiet, sensitive…" She said after a moment's thought. "He likes old stuff… old cars, old clothes, and… old Heavy Metal music."

"A heavy metal preist? I can dig it." Poe flashed another grin. "I bet your chiorboy would very much appreciate something like…." he rifled through a rack of black clothing. "This!" he said as he pulled an item from the rack.

Rey's eyes bugged out. The garment barely qualified to be called such. It was basically sheer black flames made of gauzy embroidered lace, black on black, each flame joined together with fishnet pannels in such a way that the flames would appear to 'cover' only her breasts above the waist, while they curled up both thighs until they overlapped to form an opaque spot that would barely cover her crotch.

"You can try it on over there." Poe pointed to a small cubicle with a curtain for a door.

"Are flames really what we want him thinking of while I'm trying to seduce him?" Rey asked, hesitantly taking the dress.

"Bold of you to assume he'll be thinking of anything after catching a glimpse of you in that!" Poe laughed. "The flames will just remind him, when he thinks about it later, that you're worth the risk of flaking out on his commitment to the church."

Rey frowned at the dress then at the man who was trying to sell her on it. "I don't think I can pull this off."

"Are you kidding me?" Poe sounded incredulous. "Lady, you're built like the star of every bi and steaight guy's wet dreams. Trust me… try it on. If you don't agree that you look like a great fuck waiting to happen, I'll personally pay for any other dress in the shop that you want."

She eyed him for a second, then the dress and nodded before marching over to the dressing room to try on the scandalously skimpy dress. If she hated it half as much on her body as she did on the hangar, she'd happily accept a free dress… her job as a mechanic's apprentice didn't exactly pay well.

A few minutes later she called out, "Poe? I don't like it!"

The curtain slide open and poe stuck his head in then started laughing. "Take off your under clothes and boots!"

She gasped, covering her breasts like a shocked virgin… which she was. "Get out!"

Poe closed the curtain but stayed just outside of it, talking as she did as he bid.

"The outfit is only a part of the seduction, ma'am. You have to sell it. Stand up straight, shoulders back, chin up… look at him like he's a feast and you haven't eaten in days." He advised. "Nothing turns a man on faster than a lover who wants him desperately."

"Oh, god, again Poe? Can't I leave you alone for ten minutes without you getting delusions of grandure? You're not Joyce Brothers." A crisp, male voice intoned in an accent that Rey immediately recognized as on of the London dialects. She peeked out the corner of ghd curtain in time to see Poe exchange a quick kiss with an equally gorgeous mahogany toned man in a beat up leather jacket.

"I didn't realize you were gay!" Rey blurted tactlessly.

"Well, now ya know. step on out here, let us get a look at you." Poe said, his voice full of mirth.

She debated for a second then shrugged and stepped shyly out of the dressing cubby.

Silence greeted her so she stole a glance at her audience to find both men gaping at her.

Poe recovered first. "Remember what I said… stand up straight... shoulders back…" he cleared his throat and clasped his hands together in front of himself. "great, now… try to look less like a scared mouse and more like a woman intent on making a man forget he ever wanted to be a preist."

The other man recovered instantly at that and looked at Poe as if he'd just said the craziest thing in the world.

Rey tried to follow his instructions, but she had no idea how to give such a look.

"Try it like this…" Poe said, a sexy smoulder stealing over his face as he stepped towards her. "Imagine this big, sexy, hunk of a man… Naked… sweating… imagine the taste of his skin… can you see him? Can you taste him? Imagine his voice in your ear, gasping your name. Imagine the smell of him, the feel of him as he rubs his cock up and down your slit… imagine wrapping your legs around his waist…" he stopped and smiled then turned her around to face the mirrored back wall of the changing cubby. "That's the look, right there… look at him like that."

Rey was astonished at what she beheld in the mirror. It was her as she had never seen herself. Eyes glazed and half lidded, lips gone red, nostrils flared, cheeks stauned a flattering pink.

Poe reached up and mussed her hair.

The lily shaped dress swept her ankles, it's skirt split to within inches of the darker pannel where the flames that curled up her legs crossed each other then wound their way around her exposed navel to cross again just beneath her breasts. Her nipples were clearly visible through the sheer flames that caressed her mounds like a lover's hands before curving around to join via a single loop & latch clasp at the back of her neck.

"I'll take it." She rasped. How could she not? She looked like a fabulous fuck waiting to happen.

"Excellent!" Poe beamed at her un the mirror. "You'll need some heels too... Finn, can you grab those strappy black patton leather heels next to the wondervibe?"

"I'm Rey, by the way." She finally introduced herself.

"I know." Poe smiled. "I saw your ID."

Finn returned with the shoes. "Only have these in a seven." He said.

"Perfect!" Rey glowed, snatching the shoes from him and clasping them to her chest. "Just my size!"

She squeeled as she gazed at the beautiful shoes. She'd never owned anything so lovely in her life! When she glanced back up both men were staring at her like she was a feast. She frowned and they both glanced away quickly.

"You are gay aren't you?" she asked tentatively.

Exchanging a glance they both held out one hand, parallel to the floor and waggled it. "We're dating…" Finn said sheepishly.

"I… uhh…" Poe sputtered. "Yeah, we're actually engaged."

Rey frowned questioningly. "So, you're gay."

"More like… gay for each other." Finn said and Poe nodded in agreement.

"So… you've both dated women?" She covered her breasts with the shoes, growing more uncomfortable by the second.

"Well…" Poe was blushing now. "Yeah… until we fell in love."

Rey stepped back into the changing room and angrily pulled the curtain closed. "That could have been useful information before I stepped out there wearing this… this… dress." She finished lamely, unable to put her thoughts on the sexy garment into words.

"Relax." Poe said. "We're not predators, Rey. We're just… helping you... Who better to help you accomplish your goal than a couple of guys who can fully appreciate how stunning you are in that get-up?"

She considered that for a moment. Damn it, he was right. It's not like either man had made a pass at her. They'd meerly been… appreciating the effect of her in their merchandise while helping her seduce her overly shy across the hall neighbor.

She redressed quickly into her flannel underwear, jeans, sweater and boots, threw her coat over one arm laid the dress over it and scooped up the shoes.

The men were gone when she stepped through the curtain so she made her way back to the front of the store to find them behind the counter.

"I'm sorry, you're right, I overreacted. You've both been very kind and helpful." She said, laying her purchases on the glass countertop, covering up the shelf full of neon vibrators in the case below.

She paid then wished them a Happy Christmas.

"If you really want to make my holidays brighter…" Poe grinned, "Let me know how it turns out with Father Lucky Fucker."

Rey actually giggled at the moniker he'd chosen to describe the guy she'd been hopelessly trying to catch the attention of for the better part of a year.

"Ben." She grinned. "His name is Ben... And he's not a preist yet." she winked at her new friend and added saucily, "He never will be if this dress works!"


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey is wholly unprepared for Ben's reaction to her Dress Strategy.
> 
> Stay tuned... Chapter 3 in the works!

Rey glanced nervously at the clock for the billionth time in the past 30 minutes and frowned. It wasn't like Ben to be late getting home. In the eleven months they'd been neighbors she'd begun to think his schedule was more reliable than the secondhand clock on her sitting room wall. 

It was nearly seven p.m. now. He was fourty-five minutes late already. She paced back and forth restlessly in her bare feet. The shoes she'd purchased for this evening were beatiful but made her feet feel like they'd been run over by a lorry so she'd ditched them after the first ten minutes of pacing.

The clock passed seven and kept going at it's snail's pace while Rey paced and tormented herself about the morality of her decision to seduce her crush. She knew without a doubt that what she was doing was wrong, but she also knew without a doubt that what he was doing was equally wrong. He didn't belong in a celluloid collar any more than she belonged in a see through dress.

Her belly growled aggressively as the clock neared 8 and sighing in defeat she gave up her vigil by the door to go stare into the depressing depths of her ice box. Nothing there but a half empty package of biscuits and a few condiments. 

She slammed the door shut with a growl and plucked the menu for Tiko's from under a magnet on the outside of the freezer. 

After perusing the menu a moment she put it bavk and made the call. "Chow" Tiko, the owner, answered on the fifth ring.

"Rey! Not again! You're not getting more than four entrees any more, so don't ask!" he reminded her by way of greeting.

"Hi Chow, I'm actually not that hungry tonight. Send me two number nines, a thirteen and a six will you? And can I get an order of eggrolls and two orders of rangoons to go with it?"

"Baby girl, when you gonna learn you can't eat your problems away? Come in. Sit down, we'll talk. You'll feel better, I promise."

"I can't tonight, but can you send Rose? And ask her to pick me up a quart of mint chocolate chip on her way?"

"Everytime I send Rose you keep her for at least an hour." Chow grumbled. "But it's almost closing time anyway so I guess I can spare her."

"Thanks." Rey smiled weakly into her phone. "Oh… and, I'm really craving some of that honied beef and veggies you introduced last month, can I get a pint of that too?"

"Not hungry? pfft." Chow said good naturedly before hanging up.

Rey had found Tiko's Take Out her first week in New York. It was a tiny little place three blocks from her fifth floor walk up. She'd eaten there so much over the past eleven months she kind of felt like family now. The Tiko patriarch had at first been impressed with her ability to eat more than a lumberjack but as time had passed he and his two daughters had put it together that she ate like that when she was particularly upset about something. Rose and Paige Tiko had become like sisters to her over their many deliveries to her ratty little flat, where more often than not they'd share a meal and chat with her about her latest rejection from her hunky neighbor.

Rose was at her door in less than 20 minutes to Rey's great relief. "What in the world are you wearing?" She asked in wide eyed disbelief as she lugged two big bags past Rey to the beat up used coffee table in front of the threadbare sofa in the postage stamp sized sitting room. "Don't tell me he saw that and still ignored you?!"

"Worse." Rey said bitterly. "He didn't come home tonight."

"Dad sent the remainder of the buffet, said keep your money, it was headed for the trash." Rose said as she started digging through the bags for the pint of honied beef and veggies she'd smuggled in for herself. Finding her food and a cellophane wrapped fork she plopped down on the sofa and asked, "So, If he didn't come home… where is he?"

"I don't know." Rey admitted, grabbing a big Styrofoam container from the top of the bag Rose had pawed through. She barely noticed the strong flavors of soy and ginger as she wolfed down a monstrous portion of asian bbq ribs. “Maybe he's staying late at the shelter because of the cold. It's bound to be packed, right?”

“That's true, it's already below 20 out there and just getting colder by the second.” Rose said without bothering to pause her slurping of honied broccoli. “Why not get dressed and head over there to help him out? Might score some brownie points at least.”

“Every time I show up to help out he puts me to work in the kitchen and disappears.” Rey complained. “I don't even like doing my own dishes that much!”

“Well, it's almost eight thirty, surely the dishes are done by now?” Rose suggested as Rey polished off a quart of pork friend rice.

"No rangoons?" Rey asked, pawing through the second bag of food. 

"In the black plastic box." Rose said, sitting her empty paper carton down on the table. "The eggrolls are in the red baggy… I'll take one, please."

Rey dug out the requested eggroll as well as the box full of rangoons and the two munched in silence for a bit as Rey contemplated her options. "Fine, I'm heading down there... after I change."

Rose grinned around her mouth full of cabbage and chicken. "You could wear that, but God might strike you dead if you do."

They both laughed at that for a moment before Rose's cellphone began to play a dirge. "That's dad." Rose rolled her eyes, pulling her cellphone out to answer it. "I'm on my way." she said by way of greeting then listened as her eyes grew enormous. "You sure? Alright, yeah, I'll tell her!" she hung up and looked at Rey.

"He's coming!" Rose jumped up and started flinging empty food containers into the mostly empty bags. "He just stopped by the resteraunt and picked up enough food for a dinner party, now he's on his way home!"

"Ben?" Rey asked, jumping out of her seat to rush to the peep hole on her door. "How long til he gets here?"

"I have no idea! Go fix your lipstick!" Rose said, hurridly putting on her coat. 

"Oh!" Rey covered her mouth and ran to the bathroom.

Rose stopped with her hand on the door, the sound of retching reaching her ears. She grimaced and made her way to the tiny bathroom.

Rey was bent over the toilet, wasting about five pounds of free take out.

Rose rolled her eyes, grabbed a washcloth off the shelf behind the toilet, wet it and laid it against the back of Rey's neck - which was bare but for a few stray tendrils that had escaped her artfully messy single bun. "It's alright, it's gonna be fine!" she crooned soothingly. "He's gonna fall at your feet and beg you to be his… It's gonna be perfect, you'll see."

Rey held the rag in place and stood up, shaking like a leaf being blown by a strong wind. "I can't do this!" Rey said, near hysterical. "He's a preist for cripes sake! He's gonna turn me down flat, humiliate me and never speak to me again!"

"That's ridiculous! He's not a preist, he's a guy! No guy in his right mind would turn you down flat in that outfit unless he was gay or taken - and Ben Solo is neither!" Rose said, a little more agressively than emotional support required.

"He could be gay! I don't even know if he's gay, oh my God, this was the worst idea I've ever had!"

"Calm down! You're just freaking out is all! You're nervous! Take some deep breaths!" Rose said, taking Rey by both shoulders and giving her a light shake. "It's going to be fine… I've seen the way he looks at you… He wont say no! Now, brush your teeth, put on some lipstick, and go see for yourself!"

"I can't!" Rey said, plopping down on the toilet, nearly hyperventilating. "I don't know what I was thinking, but I can not do this!"

A loud knock on the front door startled both women. They looked at each other, eyes huge in their faces.

"It's probably Paige." Rose asserted unconvincingly.

"You answer it!" Rey gasped, jumping to her feet. "I can't. What if it's him?"

Rose nodded then went to do just that.

The paper thin walls of the apartment allowed Rey to listen as Rose greeted Ben Solo.

"Oh! Hi Ben!" Rose said a little too loudly. "Rey will be out in a second, she's just trying on dresses for… a blind date. Come on in, you can help judge the next one since I'm being summoned back to work!" 

"Oh… uh… ok." Ben said uncertainly as Rose pulled him inside by his wrist. 

"Ok, I'm out, Rey! Good luck finding the right dress for your date!" Rose shouted as she slipped past Ben and out the door, grinning to herself.

Rey brushed her teeth in record time, put on a dash of lipstick, fluffed her fringe and squared her shoulders, and stepped out into her narrow hallway. She regretted not having her heels available as she tread barefoot to the sitting room trying to remember all the stuff Poe had taught her about seduction.

The room was empty.

She looked around, confused. Did she miss the sound of her door being closed when he left?

"I hope you're hungry…" Ben was saying as he stepped out of her kitchen and froze in midstep at catching sight of Rey.

She turned to face him fully, the momentary burst of courage that had allowed her to step out of the bathroom fleeing in light of the deep frown lines between Ben's upraised brows.

For a moment they just stood there, frowning at each other. 

Ben broke the heavy silence. "That's … uh… it's um… it's quite a dress…" he said, averting his eyes to stare at the cartons of food in his hands.

"You hate it, don't you?" Rey said, refusing to cry.

"Well…" He hesitated. "No… but, are you sure that's the kind of message you want to send to a guy you don't even know?"

"Message?" 

"Well, it's a bit... see-through… in places." he was blushing furiously.

Emboldened by his reaction and the fact that he hadn't run away screaming, "Well, yeah, that's the point of the fishnet panels."

"Uh, well, not just there." he replied, still staring a hole through the chow mein in his left hand.

"Really? Where else?" she asked, taking a step towards him, her heart thundering so chaotically it sent about a billion butterflies fluttering wildly around her stomach.

Fixing his eyes to her toes a very red-faced Ben Solo made a guesture across his own chest with one full hand. "Through this area."

Rey glanced down at her chest and frowned. Her dress strategy wasn't working. _Think!_ She told herself. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah." He said, eyes still fixated on her prettily polished pink toes. "Definitely."

"Oh." She chewed her lip for a second, contemplating how to get him to look at her. "Well, that's not good… How about my hair though? Too casual for a date?"

Ben glanced up then away, "Maybe, a little... It's kind of messy…" _Like someone's been pawing at it._ he thought to himself as an image of doing exactly that drifted through his stunned brain.

"It's alright to look at me, you know." She said quietly, her frustration turning towards dejection. "Even if the dress is sheer, they're only breasts. They don't bite."

Ben blushed an even deeper shade of scarlet as he closed his eyes briefly, hoping to drive away the image of his mouth on her breast that flitted through his mind at her words. "No! uhh… of course they don't... uh... anyway, I figured you might be hungry… with the stress of the holidays and all… but I can see you're busy. I'll just… uh… leave these…uhm… here," he rushed past her to set the cartons on her coffee table. "and go. Merry Christmas." 

A bewildered Rey stood staring in stunned disbelief at the door, which he had practically slammed in his haste to get away, for all of about a minute before tears started rolling down her cheeks. 

She'd failed. He'd reacted exactly as she'd feared he would… and now she had no chance of turning his head… He'd no doubt move into the rectory full time as soon as he was officially a preist and she didn't like her chances of ever speaking to him again either before or after that event.

Angry at herself, him and God all three she roughly jerked the offending garment from her body, stomped over to the rubbish bin and slammed it in before dropping to her knees and weeping her eyes out. She'd failed and now the man of her dreams was truly and absolutely beyond her reach.

She knew it had been slim chance to start with, but their multitude of brief encounters in the hall outside their doors, which had developed into a tentative friendship and then blossomed into long conversations over Tiko's Take Out that sometimes lasted until the wee hours, always at her place, had come to mean far more to her than any real flirtation she'd ever participated in. 

So what if they never actually flirted? So what if he grew uncomfortable and tongue tied when they occasionally found themselves waking up on her sofa the next morning, completely wrapped up in each other's limbs? So what if he blushed when she inadvertently referred to qualities they both knew he possessed as desirable in a mate? She'd made her move and he'd rejected her… So what now?

Naked and sobbing she pulled herself together enough to get up off the floor and make her way to her room. The first thing she noticed when she walked through the door was a sweatshirt he'd left behind a few weeks ago when he'd overdressed in too many layers for the weather inside her toasty warm flat. She'd been using it as a night gown every since. She snatched it up with numb fingers and pulled it to her face, sniffing back snot she buried her nose in the soft fabric and inhaled the mild scent of him that still clung to it. A fresh wave of agony clawed at her heart as his scent meandered it's way from her nose to her veins. 

Dropping herself onto her cold empty bed she pulled the sweatshirt on and hugged her knees to her chest as she wept into the valley between her upraised knees and her Ben scented chest.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a catastrophy! or is it?
> 
> (Not the last chapter btw.)

Ben leaned back against his front door, his heart hammering in his throat. He was panting and shaking, trembling really. He'd fled from Rey meer seconds before. He'd had to, he assured himself, if he hadn't he'd have surely reached for her… and if he'd reached for her she'd have been totally weirded out by being kissed by a preist. His Theology professor at Notre Dame had warned him that women may not realize he was, in fact, a man and behave in ways he might find alluring without meaning to, but he never thought it would be so difficult to not act like a man in such a circumstance. 

But then… it was Rey. All _she_ had to do was say his name and he was tempted… seeing her in that sinfully erotic gown, with her hair all a mess and her huge, beautiful eyes dewy and soft had nearly driven him to act like a beast. He'd had to run away for her own protection. 

Gulping in air like a drowning man he took two handfuls of his own hair and pulled them hard, hoping the pain from his tender scalp might help kill his highly inappropriate, very embarrassing, and painfully throbbing erection. 

It wasn't her fault, he told himself. She had no idea the effect she had on him. Why should she? She was innocent and wholesome and pure… she'd be appalled to know how desperately he'd wanted to throw her over his shoulder like a cave man and carry her to his bed to ravish her until he was too exhausted to even lift a finger to keep her from running away screaming for help.

He groaned as _that_ image flashed through his mind. Usually he could focus on his duty to God to help him deal with unwanted physical reactions, but right now he couldn't get the image of her in that dress to stop floating before his eyes. It felt wrong to ask God to join in that torment with him. No, he'd speak with God later - after he gained control of his mind and body.

He tried every thought exercise known to man but still all he could see was Rey in that flimsy excuse for a garment... and his body was equally as recalcitrant as his mind in it's refusal to cooperate with his attempts to calm it.

Though he woke up frequently enough with a need to launder his bedding, thanks to dreams about his gorgeous young neighbor, he hadn't purposefully caused such an emission since his junior year in college. It was not only frowned upon, the impurity of such an act was a sin… and it had been more than five years since he'd had to ask forgiveness for committing that particular sin - though he did beg often to be forgiven for his impure thoughts about his sweet young friend.

"Get a grip on yourself, Solo." He growled, banging his head against the door.

His father's crooked grin and ghostly voice drifted through his mind, "It's a lot easier to beg forgiveness than ask permission, kiddo, but it's even easier to not get caught!" He'd said to Ben when the 20 year old collegiate had caught his father in bed with a curvy redhead who definitely not Ben's mother.

Ben had archly replied that God always caught everyone. 

"So, what? You think he really cares if I have a little fun without your mother from time to time? He wouldn't keep tempting me if he didn't intend for me to accept the sweetest offers!"

That's when Ben had punched the old man square in his mouth before storming off, back to his dorm, never to return home or see the philandering bastard again. A massive heart attack would claim his father's life some four years later, but still, Ben did not return home. He'd made his choice. He'd be damned if he allowed himself to be anything like his father.

He'd never once regretted his decision to commit to the church… never… until now... until Rey.

Pushing away from the door he headed for his tiny shower, stripping as he went. He needed a shower. A very _cold_ shower.

Across the hall Rey picked up her phone and dialed Rose's number.

Rose answered on the first ring. "Give me good news!" she said brightly.

Rey burst out sobbing and relayed the details of Ben's rejection. 

Rose showed up fifteen minutes later with a half gallon of mint chocolate chip and a big package of double stuffed Oreos.

"I can't believe he turned you down!" she said as Rey shoveled green ice cream into her mouth with a serving spoon. "He has to be gay. Not even Jesus could have walked away from you in that dress unless he was gay."

"He wasn't even tempted - just embarrassed!" Rey said, crushing three oreos with her hand to sprinkle over her massive spoon of ice cream. "How could I be so stupid?"

"Hey, it's not your fault, there's no way you could've known he was gay!" Rose said comfortingly as she scooped a bit of ice cream out of the carton on Rey's lap with a cookie. "It's not like the subject ever came up… or that he'd admit to it if it had… him being a preist and all."

Back in apartment 5 B Ben stepped out of the shower, shamefaced, and wrapped a towel around his hips. He'd get to work begging God's forgiveness later, for now he needed to apologize to Rey for his uncharacteristic abandonment in her time of need.

Over the months they'd gotten to know each other she'd told him how deeply traumatic the holidays had always been for her since her parents had been killed in a car crash on their way home from Christmas shopping on Christmas Eve... and yet, the first time she'd ever made any attempt to take positive action to improve her holidays, he had basically slut shamed her for her dress then ran out on her without a thought to how hurtful his words and actions must have been for her in her delicate emotional state.

He dried off, slapped on some mildly scented deodorant and dressed quickly in a faded old Notre Dame T shirt and a crisply black pair of sweat pants that had only been laundered a few times.

His mind a lot clearer after his shower, he felt sure he could face Rey, who had surely changed by now, forgoing shoes he padded across the hall to knock lightly on her door.

Rose glanced at the door then back at Rey. "I bet that's Paige, I called her on my way over here and told her to bring more food."

Rey set the ice cream down next to the empty chow mein cartons she's scarfed while waiting on Rose. "I got it." 

Still wearing nothing but Ben's massive sweat shirt she opened the door without bothering to use the peep hole to confirm her late night visitor's identity.

"Ben!" she gasped, slamming the door in his face. "What are you doing here?" she called through the closed door.

His muffled reply was too garbled to understand so she cracked the door open an inch to peek out, "What?"

"I said, I came to apologize for running out on you like that." He repeated. "I know how hard the holidays are for you, I should have been more supportive… I just… That dress…" He stopped speaking, shocked that his body could be reacting so strongly such a short time after having given into it's incessant demand for release.

"Well…" she began, opening the door a few more inches. "I'm sorry about that godawful dress. You were right, it was a huge mistake to even consider wearing that horrible thing."

"No, no... you looked… amazing!" he blurted then blushed all the way from the tips of his ears to his bare toes. "It's the twenty first century, of course you should wear whatever you like as long as you feel comfortable in it!"

Rey eyed him for a moment, unsure of how to respond to that.

"Is that… my shirt?" Ben asked, his eyes fixed on the faded and scarred leprechaun on her belly.

"Sorry, you forgot it over here the other night… I hope you don't mind…?"

 _Mind? I've never seen anything so sexy in my life!_ his brain shouted, but his mouth said, "No, I don't mind, in fact, you can keep it if you want." _God, help me, I sound like an idiot!_

"Oh." _God, he doesn't even want his favorite shirt back after I've ruined it by putting it on my body._ "oh...kay..."

"Yeah, uhm… so… uhh… goodnight then." he turned to flee again but her voice stopped him halfway through his door.

"Ben!" she called after his retreating form. When he stopped and looked back at her she slipped out and shut her own door behind herself. "Can we talk?"

 _God, help me._ "Uh… sure." he said, making to step back out into the hall but stopped when she started walking towards him. 

"In your flat, please." she said, stepping past him to enter his place uninvited. As soon as the door closed behind him she turned and started apologizing. "I'm so sorry, about earlier. I should have guessed you'd be uncomfortable around a woman in such a revealing garment. I just… I never realized you were entering the preisthood because you're gay and can't reconcile that with your faith."

"I'm what?" His mind seized up and all he could do was gape at her in open mouthed astonishment. 

"It's fine, really." she smiled gently. "God, if he even exists, would not make us to love anyone he didn't want us to be with."

"He does exist." was all Ben could manage with his mind swimming such as it was.

"Well, then, there you go. He made you a man who loves men. There is no sin in being what you were meant to be." She reached out and rubbed his cheek. "I do not think he intended for you to be a preist, though. You're far too warm and loving to close yourself off from the world like that."

"Rey…" He took a deep breath and gently removed her soft, warm hand from his face. "I…" He trailed off and swallowed the massive lump in his throat. "I'm not gay."

She smiled sadly up at him. "It's ok, you don't have to hide yourself from me or anybody else. It is the twenty first century, you know, of course you can love whomever you wish, as long as you're comfortable with yourself. And you have no reason to be uncomfortable with who you are... because you're perfect - just the way you are."

Ben stared into her soft, warm, poignant gaze and forgot about everything else in existence. Nothing existed to him but her and her rich brown/green eyes, the subtle musk of her skin and the sweet huskiness of her voice. He was lost, and it never even occurred to him to care as he reached for her.

Rey was too startled to even realize at first what was happening when Ben's hands shot out, grabbed her around the waist and lifted her into the embrace of both his arms and his lips.

The feel of those soft, plush lips against her own instantly robbed her of any ability to think at all. She wrapped her arms around his neck, threaded her fingers through his still damp hair, and kissed him back with every ounce of passion that had accumulated within her over the past eleven months.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Still not the last chapter.
> 
> Sorry it's so short... hope you understand why I had to end where I did here.
> 
> Chapter Five coming very soon.
> 
> As always, this is an absolutely raw, unedited first draft, please forgive errors and rushed language/dialogues.

Ben was the first to pull away. Touching his forehead to Rey's, he fought for control of his chaotic emotions and raging hormones.

"You kissed me." Rey said, her voice full of wonder.

Stifling a grin Ben pulled back far enough to look into her eyes. "You kissed me back."

"I did." She agreed, not bothering to hide her own grin. "And I want to again."

Ben's expression sobered and, raking one trembling hand through his shaggy, jet black hair, he took a step back. "I'm… I shouldn't have… Oh, God… I can't. I've spent my entire adult life working towards becoming a preist... I can't throw that all away thirty-six hours before I finish what I started." his voice had grown more and more hysterical with each word until he was nearly in a blind panic as he nearly shouted, "I'm not my father! I don't ignore my commitments!"

Watching the man she loved melt down over kissing her just about ripped Rey's heart out of her chest. Unable to prevent the tears from streaming down her face, Rey was too devastated to stem the flow of words that poured from her. "Don't do this, please don't reject me."

Ben's mouth opened and closed a few times as his brain refused to queue up any words for it to say.

"Please don't go through with it." Her desperation far exceeded her pride as she confessed, "I love you, Ben Solo… and I don't want you to leave me... not even for God!"

"I have to." He said quietly. "I'm sorry, Rey. I'm so sorry, but I have to do this."

"Why?" she demanded, suddenly overwhelmingly angry at him. "Because you think God wants you to? Because you think it'll prove something to your dad? Why can't you change your mind?"

Growling in frustration he raked his hand roughly through his hair again and snarled, "You wouldn't understand!"

"I already don't understand so why don't you try me?"

"I've killed people, ok?! I killed sixteen innocent people and because my mother is a Senator - I got off scott free!" He said raggedly as tears streamed down his face.

Rey gaped at him in horrified shock, "You murdered them?!"

"I may as well have!" he said vehemently, pacing aimlessly, his eyes wild yet unfocused. "I was sixteen, I'd just gotten a suped up Silverado for Christmas, my dad's idea… it was late, the roads were slick and I was drinking... I T-boned a church bus." his voice grew steadily quieter and more haunted as he spoke. "It slid off the road, rolled down a hill and landed upside down in a stream... Everybody on the bus died… and I walked away with just this!" he pointed to the scar that snaked down his face and disappeared into his collar. "My mother pulled some strings, the blood alcohol test report disappeared. It was ruled as an accident that was caused by ice on the roads... Sixteen people, Rey. A seventy two year old grandfather, two fifty five year old twin sunday school teachers, and thirteen little kids ranging in age from four to fourteen… I can tell you their names and birthdays, everything about their lives but there's nothing I can do to bring them back. There is nothing I can do to make up for what I did or to bring their families comfort. This… the church… serving others… helping people… it's not enough, it'll never be enough, but it's all I _can_ do."

Rey stared at him in awe for a moment then said, "I understand, more than you can imagine." She took a deep breath and ahakily confessed, "I was seven years old." she said with a haunted expression in her eyes. "My mum was driving, my dad was in the seat in front of me. Every time we'd hit a loud part in the carol we were singing I'd hit and kick the back of his seat. He asked me stop several times, but it was so much fun, singing and dancing around in my seat. My mum turned to scold me and didnt see the traffic light ahead of us change…" she was sobbing when she continued. "You may have killed more people than me, Ben, but the ones I killed meant far more to me than any number of total strangers possibly could to you!"

She pointed to a miniscule little scar on her own cheek, "This," and pulled down the neckline of his sweatshirt over her shoulder. "And this… those are the only scars I have to show for killing my own parents and putting a father of four into a wheel chair for the rest of his life!"

Her eyes flashed suddenly back to anger, "You can't honor those people's death by hiding your guilt behind a white collar, Ben… you need to confess to the proper authorities and accept responsibility for what you did."

"I have." he said sadly. "several times. No proof of my having been drinking that night exists and because I had sustained a head injury, they dismissed my confessions for being the ramblings of a confused and guilt-ridden survivor of a horrific accident."

She stared at him for a long moment. "I see."

He stared back her. "I'm sorry."

"I know." She said sadly. "God knows it, too... That's why he refused to let you be punished for what happened."

"Possibly." He agreed. "Which is why I know I have to spend my life doing His work."

"I've seen you with the kids at the shelter, can you honestly tell me you don't want a family of your own?" She said. "Isn't being a good man, a great father and a loving husband who volunteers his help wherever he can just as valid a way to do God's work?"

"It certainly is, but my choice is made, it has been for half my life and it's too late to turn back now." He laid his hands on her shoulders, "Rey, thank you for wanting me, for loving me, but I wouldn't even know how to be what you need in your life." He leaned down and kissed her tenderly on the forehead.

She nodded mutely and without another word spoken, she returned to her own flat too devastated to even feel the misery that radiated out from her in waves a blind man could have seen from a mile away.

Rose jumped up and ran to her the moment Rey walked back into her apartment. "Oh, My God! What happened?"

"He doesn't want me." Rey said in a daze. "I told him everything and he doesn't want me."

"Oh, Honey! I'm so sorry!" Rose hugged her tightly for a moment then offered to warm up the rest of the food left in the flat.

"I'm not hungry." Rey said numbly. "I'm just… going to go on to bed."

Rose frowned. "You're sure you don't want anything to eat?"

"I'm sure." Rey said in a flat, dead tone. "I just need to sleep. I'm so… tired."

"OK, sweety, OK." Rose hugged her again. "Want me to stay over tonight, in case you need me later?"

Rey looked at her friend for the first time since coming back from Ben's and plastered on the saddest smile Rose had ever seen. "No, I'll be fine. Give my love to Paige and Chow."

"You're sure?"

"Yes, I'm fine... I'll be OK." 

Rey's voice was still eerily devoid of emotion but Rose didn't want to add to Rey's stress by starting an arguement. She could tell Rey was in a fragile state, though, so she insisted, "If you need to talk, or you get hungry, or just want somebody close by, don't you dare hesitate to call me. I don't care what time it is."

"Alright." Rey said, her eyes as vacant as her voice. "I'll call you if I need you."

"Promise?"

"I promise."

After Rose left Rey laid down on top of her blankets and stared, almost unblinkingly, at her bedroom ceiling for most of the night as her mind drifted into a thoughtless void. It vaguely registered that she should probably be crying her heart out, and it seemed rather wrong that she wasn't, but she was too numb to really care about that.

Across the hall in 5B Ben flopped down on his sofa the moment Rey closed the door behind her and burried both hands in his hair. He let out a huge gusty breath then burst into tears. That night would prove to be the first time he'd cried himself to sleep since the night he'd made the decision to join the church.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christmas Eve doesn't turn out at all the way Rey or Ben expected it to.

Christmas eve dawned bright and cold. Snow flurries danced through the air but refused to stick to even the shadiest bits of pavement.

Rey awakened slowly despite the brightness that flowed into her room through curtains she hadn't bothered to close the night before. A sense of foreboding raced through her as soon as her eyes opened but her befuddled brain didn't register why she had such a dreadful feeling for several long seconds... then the memories of the previous evening flooded through her mind and squeezed her heart painfully.

All she truly wanted to do was roll over and go back to sleep, but that wasn't an option. She had plans for the day that didn't involve wallowing in self pity despite a clear desire to do just that. Dragging herself out of bed she stripped off Ben's sweatshirt and dropped it in the hamper before stepping under a nearly scalding spray of water to, hopefully, wash her blues away.

Ben dragged himself out of bed an hour later than usual, skipped breakfast and headed straight down to the shelter to get a jump on preparations for the evening meal that had served nearly twice it's normal number the day before. The cold and the approaching holiday had people crawling out of the woodwork to take in the warmth of the soup kitchen and it's hot, palatable food. Luckily, the pantry was well stocked owing to a recent outpouring seasonal generosity by many New Yorkers, even those who did not attend the attached church, many of whom weren't even Catholic. 

Having to make a second batch of chilli last night had forced him to stay late, but this was Christmas Eve, he had two dozen turkeys and a dozen hams to prep and cook for tonight and tomorrow night's suppers and only four reliable volunteers to help with that rather massive undertaking. Besides the meats the five person team would also need to make side dishes, which meant peeling at least a hundred pounds of potatoes and mixing probably fourty gallons of stuffing to feed the estimated six hundred homeless people who were expected to stop by for a hot meal both tonight and tomorrow night.

Despite the hectic day he knew he had ahead of him, Ben couldn't quite keep his mind focused. Everything seemed to be reminding him of Rey. He could have sworn he saw her out of the corner of his eye at least a dozen times whole he moved the bulk of the raw ingredients, four massive bags of potatoes, dozens of loaves of bread, cartons upon cartons of eggs, and several other things, not to mention the multitude of hams and turkeys, from their storage areas to the prep stations that were set up around the cafeteria sized kitchen.

Even the abundance of food made him think of her.

The feel of her lingered on his lips so much he nearly chewed them raw attempting to banish the sensation. The smell of her would not dissipate from his nose even as he peeled and chopped a few dozen onions. The warmth of her refused to leave his fingertips even as he handled frozen hams and half thawed turkeys. The taste of her mouth would not be overpowered even when he tried chewing on a whole clove. But, the part of her that haunted him the most persistently was the sound of her voice.. as she'd confessed to feeling responsibility for her parent's deaths… as she pleaded with him to choose her over the church… as she'd told him that she loved him. 

Rey loved him.

He wasn't sure how to feel about that.

On the one hand, he felt terrible for her, because he was already firmly committed to his path… but on the other hand he was elated to the point of giddiness and distraction to know she felt the same for him as he did for her.

His knife froze in mid slice as he scored the top of one of the raw hams. Where had that thought come from? It was ridiculous! He wasn't in love with Rey. He just liked her a whole lot and thought she was a wonderful, kind, sweet, generous, caring, beautiful, interesting, intelligent, warm, gentle, lovable human being as well as a great friend. It didn't matter if he also found her as alluring as a mythical siren, and wanted her more than he wanted his next breath… that didn't mean… he was… in love... with her…

"Son of a bitch!" He groaned and set the knife down on the cutting board. He hadn't used that expression in almost 10 years, but it was the mildest oath he could summon at the time.

"Holy Christ Almighty! What did I do?" he muttered to himself. He could barely believe he'd been so blind as to not realize how deeply he actually cared about and wanted his neighbor/friend. 

Rey bundled up against the biting cold and headed for Tiko's. She hadn't felt so lonely in a very very long time . She needed the chaos and noise associated with the bustling little resteraunt... not to mention the company of her friends. The ones she hadn't lost by caring too much. The ones that actually loved her back.

Paige was at the hostess booth and greeted her cautiously as she walked through the door.

"How are you holding up, Rey?" she asked as they exchanged a hello hug.

"I'm fine." Rey said brightly, giving zero indication of her inner pain and turmoil. "How are you?"

"I'm great," Paige said, then added, "I was a bit worried about you, though… with the holiday and… last night…" as she seated Rey at her favorite table.

"Oh. No, I'm fine. Really." She shrugged. "Last night was nothing I wasn't expecting... had to try though, ya know… just to see." she lied almost convincingly. 

 

Paige bought it.

"I'm so glad to hear that!" She beamed. "So what's it gonna be? Buffet, or menu?"

"Buffet, I think. I skipped breakfast." Rey said with a grin. "Slept in this morning."

"I'll warn the kitchen!" Paige teased good naturedly and walked off, shsking her head and grinning.

It was nearly 3 pm by the time the first volunteer, Kaydel, showed up to help with the evening meal.

Ben had driven himself nearly mad in his uninterrupted solitude by that point and greeted her in a rather brusque manner. "Where've you been? I've been working here, by myself, since 7 this morning! I could've used some help!"

Taken aback by his surliness Kaydel apologized profusely and got straight to work peeling potatoes.

By four, when nobody else showed up to prepare this evening's dinner, chicken with vegetables and dumplings, Ben became absolutely irate and started slamming around the kitchen, grumbling to himself as he shifted from Christmas dinner prep to Christmas eve dinner.

On her way home from Tiko's with a full belly and an even fuller mind, Rey stuffed her hands into her coat pockets and frowned. She pulled the crinkled receipt for her dress from her pocket, stared at it for a moment then jerked her cellphone from the other pocket and dialed the number on the receipt. 

"Hi, I bought a dress from you yesterday... Yeah, the black one." She was nearly snarling. "It didn't work! He ran like a scared rabbit then rejected me when I tried the direct route!"

Poe pulled the phone away from his head and looked at it in shock before replacing it and saying, "I don't believe it! Was he on drugs or something?"

"He's a preist! Your dress scared him half to death!"

Poe sighed heavily into the phone. "Alright, well… bring it back, I'll refund your money."

"I can't, it's in my rubbish bin."

"Is it damaged?"

"No. Just rubbish!"

"Bring it back, I'll refund all but the cost of dry cleaning then!"

Rey considered telling him to sod off but the dress had been pretty pricey. "Only if you refund the shoes too!"

"Deal! I'll be here til five, then we're closed until the 26th."

"Og, I'm _not_ coming in today, you can forget that notion!"

"Fine, fine, just bring them back when you can… and Rey?"

"What?" she snapped.

"I'm so sorry it didn't work out for you." He said gently.

"So am I." she said tightly then hung up, cleared her throat and put her phone away for the rest of the walk home.

Ben kicked the door to the walk in freezer and cursed as he felt his big toe snap painfully. It was entirely his own fault, and he knew it, that Kaydel had left, pulling Phasma out the door with her when the huge blond took a swing at him for berating her so viciously when she'd finally shown up at quarter til five. His fault that she'd called him a monster and tried to take his head off with a widely arcing right hook. His fault for even being in such a foul mood really.

But, justified or not, blaming himself wasn't going to feed several hundred hungry people. And neither was forgiving himself. He needed help. A lot of help. And he'd just driven off the only two people who had shown up to help him.

The dining hall was already starting to fill up but he was nowhere near ready to serve the food - which was also nowhere near ready to be served. Desperate for help, he called the only person he could think of that might show upnon such short notice.

Rey was just tying closed the top of a grocery bag that now held her soiled dress and uncomfortable shoes when her cellphone started belting out the Kiss staple, "I wanna rock and roll all night! And party every day!" screamed through her apartment, on a loop, from the speaker on the back of her phone.

Her breath caught in her throat. That was Ben's ringtone!

She dashed into the living room and snatched her phone off the battered coffee table where she'd left it. "Hello?" she answered almost breathlessly. 

"Rey! You answered! Praise the Lord!" Ben said, a big smile washing over his previously stressed face.

"Why wouldn't I answer? We are still friends… aren't we?"

"Yes! We're definitely still friends!" He agreed readily. "In fact, that's kind of why I'm calling… I need a friendly favor..."

Rey frowned. "You called me because you need a favor?"

"Not for myself!" he said hurriedly. "Well, not really for myself anyway… I'm alone down here in the kitchen. It's just me and about four hundred hungry people… can I beg you to come help me get them fed? I can't do this by myself."

She wanted to tell him to eat shit and die, but that would be unfair to the poor, homeless, hungry people that were waiting for their one good meal of the day. She sighed. "Alright, give me twenty minutes."

"You're an angel Rey Niima!" Ben beamed like a fool even after she hung up on him for saying that.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The End!

Ben knelt between two other men, both also about to speak their final vows before officially becoming full-on men of the cloth, as the pre-ceremony prayers droned on and on in Father Snoke's low monotone. His body may have been in St. Agnes' cathedral, but his mind was in it's attached soup kitchen. And the hour may be approaching noon, but in his mind it was supper time.

Rey had been rather stiff towards him for a solid hour after she had shown up, not that he could blame her. The only time she had spoken to him that first little bit had been to give or acknowledge instructions. 

Her cold shoulder didn't last long once the serving started though. In spite of her obvious displeasure with him, Rey was a picture of warmth and holiday cheer to each and every man, woman and child who passed their bowls under her ladel. She spoke to each, wishing them a happy Christmas and many blessings in the new year. She even asked for the lifestory updates of some that she'd met before. 

Ben worked efficiently on his end of the big serving station, but he'd been completely unable to keep his eyes off of her. She really did look like an angel to him with her bright smile and pale cream sweater. She didn't glance his way once, that he noticed, as vat after vat of chicken and dumplings were passed out to the hungry poor.

He'd watched her though. Watched and noticed the distant look in her eyes whenever she wasn't talking to one of the people who'd shown up for a warm spot to sit and a hot meal to eat. She looked sad to him. It didn't take much to understand why. 

He'd only discovered a couple of hours ago that his feelings for her were so deep, but she had expressed hers to him only to meet with rejection. He could imagine what that must still feel like some twenty hours later. 

After the food was served to the last drop and the final diners farewelled the pair of them had started the clean up process as if navigating a mine field.

After thirty minutes of very uncomfortable silence Ben finally garnered enough courage to speak. "Rey?"

"What?" her voice sounded about as tired as Ben felt.

"Thank you." he said simply.

"I didn't do it for you, Ben." She said, bent over a huge stock pot, scouring it with a handheld scrub brush.

"I figured that much out on my own… but still, thank you." He said as his courage wavered.

They continued to work in uncomfortable silence for several minutes before he spoke again. "About last night…"

"Don't." She said, turning to look directly at him for the first time since her arrival. "Just don't."

"Alright." He said, cowed by the fierceness of her expression. 

A few more minutes ticked by before he tried a different tack. "So when's your big date?"

She scowled at him briefly then answered, "He canceled... turns out he didn't want to date me after all."

Ben's heart squeezed a little. "I'm sorry."

She shrugged and scrubbed harder, "Doesn't matter."

"He's a fool to back out on you." Ben said quietly. 

"Yeah, he really is a fool." She shot him a venomous glare. "But not as big of one as I am."

"You're not a fool, Rey." He said, abandoning his bucket of stuffing mix to walk over to her side. "You're a wonderful, warm, caring woman that any man would be lucky to have in his life."

She scoffed openly at that. "Any man but you, that is."

He ducked his head to look her in the eyes, "I do have you in my life, and I am definitely the luckiest guy around because of that."

She bite her lip then shook her head. "About that… I was so shocked to hear from you earlier, I wasn't thinking straight... But I am now, and I don't think we should remain friends. A clean break is better for both of us really."

Ben stared at her for a moment before straightening up. "If that's what you'd prefer." he said stiffly and returned to his prepping. He had to have everything oven and stovetop ready by morning if he was going to serve Christmas dinner on time tomorrow and still take time out for his ordainment.

"It's not." She said in a small voice. "But its the only option I have available."

Ben hadn't responded to that, he couldn't. What could he possibly have said?

After finishing the dishes Rey had left him to finish his meal preparation alone. 

Snoke's voice jerked Ben back to the present as it grew sharper while he warned against sinful temptations and promised an eternity of hellfire and torment to any who spoke their vows insincerely or broke them after speaking them.

"This is a covenant with God himself that you are entering into, and God will not tolerate nor forgive the one who breaks it!" Snoke roared to the rafters as if his volume would induce God to confirm that claim in person. "From the moment you affirm this covenant you are no longer meer Godly men but vessels of the Holy Spirit!"

Ben flinched at the sharp tone and volume of his mentor's voice but kept his head down in supplication. 

Rey's image flashed through his mind. That dress. That flaming, sexy, tempting dress. How could he ever forget that dress? Or be immune to the effect it had on him. Even here, kneeling in front of Father Snoke, about to promise God himself that he'd resist all temptations of the flesh, his wayward fleah was beginning to react to the very thought of Rey in that dress.

As if reading Ben's mind, Snoke barreled on, "Put aside your earthly and sinful thoughts of fornication! God does not want a man of the flesh in his fold! He seeks only men of purest faith and strongest spirit! If you are that man, Armitage Hux, rise now and declare it to God Almighty!"

The ginger kneeler on Ben's right stood and proclaimed himself to be such a man then followed Snoke through the ceremonial vows that would forever declare him a servant of the Father, a host of the Son, and a vessel of the Holy Spirit.

After the newly ordained Father Armitage completed his bit it was Ben's turn.

"If _you_ are that man, Benjamin Solo, rise now and declare it to God Almighty!" Snoke said in his grandest voice.

Ben stood, looked into Snoke's pale blue eyes and said, "Forgive me Father, I do not believe I _am_ that man."

Father Snoke's jaw gaped so wide his chin nearly touched his chest. " _What_ did you say?"

"I cannot in good conscience enter into this convenant with God." Ben said, sweat beading on his forehead. "I… I have fallen in love with an angel, and I cannot forsake her. Not even for God."

"Heretic!" Snoke screamed, pointing his boney finger directly into Ben's face. "Fornicator!"

Ben shook his head vehemently and took a step backwards. "No, not that. Never that." He denied. "But I will be her husband if she'll have me."

Without another word he turned on his heel and raced down the aisle towards freedom, love, and happiness..

He skidded to a stop as Rey stepped out from behind a sculpture of the Blessed Virgin and into his path. "You really meant that." She said as quietly as she could while still being audible over Snoke's litany of threats, all involving hellfire and condemning temptations of the flesh.

"As God is my witness!" He declared and ignoring the impropriety of the action he grabbed her and kissed her with every ounce of feeling in his heart and soul.

Both were too wrapped up in that kiss to notice the sudden silence in the cavernous room until a nasally vouce screamed, "Call 911! He's having a heart attack!"

Rey and Ben broke apart and raced back to the steps before the altar where Father Snoke lay staring blankly at the beautifully muraled ceiling.

Ben knelt down and felt for a pulse but found nothing so he laid his ear against the preist's heart to listen. Silence.

"Does anyone know CPR?" Ben asked frantically. 

Blank faces with huge eyes and shaking heads greeted him at every turn. "Damnit!" he muttered under his breath before starting chest compressions based entirely on what he'd seen on television.

Rey was explaining the situation to the 911 operator while Ben worked to try to revive his former mentor.

Despite Ben's best efforts Father Snoke did not respond to his inexperienced minstrations and the grim faced paramedics who took him away didn't bother running lights and sirens, though they did keep up with compressions and used a bag to breathe for the elderly preist.

Rey and Ben returned to their building hand in hand, their joy in finding each other slightly tinged bittersweet because of Father Snoke's passing.

Ben kissed Rey gently outside her door and turned to go home.

"You aren't actually going to leave me for no good reason, are you?" Rey said tauntingly.

"I have a good reason." Ben gave her a lopsided smile.

"And that is…?"

"If I walk through that door with you - I'm going to make love to you." His cheeks pinkened but his expression was anything but sheepish.

"See, now that sounds like a perfect reason for you to walk through this door with me." She grinned and wrapped her arms around his neck, burying her fingers in the warm silk of his hair.

His lopsided grin blossomed into a full on radiant smile. "Soon... but not right now."

Rey frowned, "Why not right now?"

"Two reasons." He said, weapping his arms around her and dropping a peck of a kiss onto her lips. "One, I need to change into normal clothes," He kissed her again. "SonI can go finish Christmas dinner for the shelter." Holding her gaze with his he kissed her again and said, "And two - Because I want you to be my wife before I make love to you."

"One, I'll help with the dinner." She promised, raising on tip toe to kiss him on the lips. "And Two… That's so old fashioned!"

His lopsided frin came back, "Maybe, but you're worth waiting for...besides, the courthouse will be open tomorrow or the next day… we can do a civil service." He frowned. "Unless you want a church wedding?"

"If I say I want a church wedding, will you stick to your guns on the premarital sex thing?" She arched one fine brow at him.

"Yes." He nodded.

"A civil ceremony sounds lovely!" She smiled brilliantly. "You have until Friday, Ben Solo, or else!"

"Or else what?" He arched his brows at her.

"Or else I put the dress back on!"

"Oh, dear God!" He chuckled. "Please - save that for _after_ the wedding! I'm begging you!"

She laughed but made no promises as she unlocked her door and left him staring after her in the hall between their flats with only s saucy wink to reassure him.


End file.
